Characters are able to freely multiclass as paladins with no alignment restrictions. Cleric/paladin Forgath and fighter/paladin Minmax.
Evil reality, evil god gained more control than he should have, his "thing" is insanity, taken over most of the "realm," most individuals are hardcore chaotic evil and absolutely insane. Forgath was not effected by evil god. When the god took over, the world became hellish and very very hot, so people wear a lot less clothing. Evil conversion wasn't sudden, but gradually over the course of a year, like a sickness (it hurt =P).
in that alternate reality, when MM and Forgath attacked goblin warcamp, drow died the same. Forgath was killed in battle with young and beautiful. Big Ears was killed instead of One Eye. With Forgath dead, Minmax had revelation about goblins not all evil, when One Eye got upset over Big Ears dying. they were drawn together in friendship when they were feeling the same over the loss of their respective best friends. eventually grew into a full blown friendship. Minmax had successfully killed complains and got to poorly locked chest first and that's how he killed complains. There was a lot of animosity at first, but eventually became close friends. They went into Brassmoon together, MM wears "This is a Helmet" piece around his neck. Minmax in this world is not happy, due to what he did and Forgath dying; why he has bags under his eyes. No GAP in this reality. They used cloak to sneak One Eye into Brassmoon. Met GS at his house and fought and killed him. Since Forgath died, no one made MM buy pants.
In most realities, Minmax is maxed out in areas of combat. In reality 51, he's perfected through intelligence. Well, at least he thinks he is. Oh, Minmax 51 IS incredibly smart, he's just overconfident in a very unlikable way. This is fine with him, since charisma is a "useless stat" in his book. His belt buckle says "i am great" in binary, which is...
01001001 00100000 01000001 01001101 00100000 01000111 01010010 01000101 01000001 01010100
Forgath is a female dwarf, which means that i must now explain thuntonian, female, dwarven beards in an effort to avoid some of the "Dude, she has a beard! Gross!" comments.
Female dwarves do grow beards, but not in the same way that males do. Female beards are located at the bottom of the chin (they're not neck-beards) and don't grow very long. They're incredibly downy and considered by all to be the softest, most feminine hair any humanoid can grow. Most non-dwarves who are lucky enough to run a hand through a female dwarf's beard, quickly abandon any thoughts of the beard being purely masculine. Like the males of their species, the female dwarven beard takes much longer than the human beard to grow out, averaging one quarter inch per year. Female, dwarven beard hair is highly sought after and fetches a high price, especially among non-dwarves. There are legends of human men buying female, dwarven beard hair in a market and finding it to be so soft and beautiful, that they'd fall in love with the dwarven lady without ever meeting her. Also, some dwarven clans consider it perfectly legal for a female to kill a male for uttering that all too common "Gives me something to hang onto" line.
Kin 51 is astoundingly dumb, which her clan found too annoying to deal with, which lead to them sending her on the seemingly impossible quest to find the jade teapot.
When Minmax first discovered that Dellyn Goblinslayer was violating Kin, he decided to simply leave the tavern and Dellyn behind. However, when Forgath was told the reason why they shouldn't work with him, she threw Dellyn out the window, resulting in the battle in which Dellyn was killed. Then, fearing that Kin would not survive on her own, they took her with them. Over time, Forgath has gained a strong sense of protective duty toward Kin and looks after her with self sacrificing resolve.
With girl looking GS. Can't be talked about. Kin is the one who looks like GS, has the same part wood "situation" as GS does in normal reality. Minmax still a fighter, wearing chainmail.
Minmax and Forgath are the same as in normal universe. Difference is the goblins are "much much much much much much" tougher. Goblins can tear through solid steel with their bare claws (hands are twice the normal size, other appearance is the same), are very fast and almost impossible to damage. Same injuries, just more extreme damage from them (helm and eye). Complains almost took off Minmax's head. Scars are all over from fighting goblins. MM and Forgath have been on the run constantly, universe all about escaping goblins because "they're a'coming." They still have warcamps, but formed from overpopulation as goblins have no predators. Brassmoon not budding metropolis, it's very combat oriented spending all it's resources to stay alive from goblins. Need all their money for city defense and stuff, very little in way of replacement armor. Won't say who owns axe, but demon escaped the axe and goblins destroyed him by ganging up on him. Didn't seek out goblins, stumbled upon them. Would be stupid to seek them out, but they're everywhere. Not a fair universe to play D&D in. Only other creatures because goblins desire it to be so.
Magic in the air will "cook" ppl unless they're covered in spikes which create a continued path that allows the energy to safely flow through them. Preventing them from becoming smoking craters. This is due to a botched wish from a low level wizard.
Saral Caine killed Ears in their fight, so after the other goblins escaped Brassmoon, Forgath & Minmax (both paladins) fought & killed Goblinslayer & Saral. Forgath then claimed the Axe of Prissan. Kin's trauma caused her to become disturbingly violent.
Goblinslayer, having captured & beaten Kin, had never raped her. This left Kin considerably less traumatised. Due to this and other variables different from the 'prime' reality, Kin & Minmax engaged in sexual relations during her birthday party & haven't stopped since. This had been annoying Forgath (who lost his beloved helmet at the goblin warcamp) more & more as time passed.
In some realities, Minmax was arrested in the elven city of Moon K'tolo for killing a yak (you can read about this in the bonus material found in the goblins omnibus coming soon from Blind Ferret. Product placement!). In our reality, Forgath bailed him out for 18 gold pieces. In reality 20, they fought their way out and escaped.
Later, after they'd added Kin to their group, they'd learned that the K'tolo elves were looking for a bald human and a dwarf in a horned helmet. So to confuse the elves and avoid capture, Forgath and Kin shaved their heads and Minmax wore the helmet.
Also, Kin threw all her cloths away because "that's the last thing them elves would expect". Did i mention that Minmax, Forgath and Kin are all really stupid in reality 20? Yeah. Yeah, they're like crazy stupid.
Minmax is a large, round blob-like humaniod. He is immune to all non-magical damage other than slashing or piercing which does x8 damage to him. So he won't let anyone near him use sharp objects (other than himself). Forgath has been forced to modify the spike on his helmet so it isn't sharp. Kin is completely repulsed by Minmax, who can defensively ooze slime like a slug.
Dies & Klik joined the goblins adventure party (GAP), Klik was seperated from Dies & the GAP during the battle in Brassmoon. The drider from the Brassmoon dungeon survived by hiding in the city. After FMK killed Goblinslayer, they encountered the drider, then defeated him in battle, but Minmax lost his arm in the fight. Klik saw this and replaced his arm, thus bonding with Minmax.
[Blonde eyebrows in those images was a mistake, Thunt confirmed later that Minmax has black eyebrows in reality 171 --DBG]
Complains' Shield Of Wonder turned Minmax into an aquatic humaniod. He needs to soak himself at least once / 2 days. And Forgath has found magic armour made of mud (yes, it's effective. Don't ask). Kin has much higher strength and is pretty buff. The mud armour offers different bonuses, depending on whether it's wet or dry.
We call him "AFTER".
Seers have apparently found out that he was a sort of undead... thing that belonged to a demon that lived in some dungeon crawl called The Well of Darkness.
They say there's some weird loophole that says that by infecting a demon from another world with his zombie virus, this 'AFTER' guy gained a stupid amount of power. Heightened intelligence, spells... We're talking deity type powers.
I first learned about AFTER's zombie plague in a tavern called The Frosted Claw. Kin (Dellyn's toy snake-girl) was sick. I remember two idiots coming into the tavern and bugging Dellyn to join them to go hunt goblins or something.
Anyways, Kin went zombie and attacked the two idiots. Dellyn and me soon discovered that all of Brassmoon City was being over run.
I barricaded myself into a tower, but Dellyn... Well he never made it.
Eventually, i figured that if infecting someone from another world turned AFTER into some godly thing, then maybe it would work again.
I captured three zombies (who happened to be Kin and the two nearby idiots) and stuck 'em in a caged wagon normally used to transport animals. I made my way to a gungeon crawl I'd heard Kin mention before. Some place called The Maze of Many. Apparently, this dungeon was always filled with people from other dimensions or realites or something.
It's a hell of a long shot, but maybe if i shove these zombies into that maze, they'll infect someone from another world and somehow make it back out. Once they return, maybe they'll start gettin' super powers like AFTER did and then maybe, just maybe they'll decide to help us take this world back. I know, it's a stupid plan, but the whole world is already destroyed. I may as well roll the dice and hope for a critical success.
Anyways, I just managed to shove my three zombies through the magical gate thing. Too bad for me, the noise attracted a huge group of zombies that are now headed this way. Well if they think I'm going to go easy, they don't know Saral Caine.
In this world, being non-evil is punishable by death. FMK are not evil and therefore must constantly pretend to be. Minmax is terrible at pretending to be evil (despite his "awesome, evil looking cape"). This pisses off Kin & Forgath on a daily basis. This is why Forgath & Kin are clearly angry at Minmax when shown on this page.
Want to be an adventurer in reality 53? Well guess what, you need a license. without an adventuring license, you can be put to death by herocorp, the governing epic level adventurers. minmax and forgath gailed their adventuring audition after smashing some expensive vases in the herocorp meeting room. you see, the agent evaluating them was named zelda and... well, minmax and forgath misunderstood what they were supposed to do. having to license, the two characters were forbidden to carry weapons and enter dungeon crawl. however, they did hear about a place called The Maze of Many, which resides in another dimension. Surely, adventuring in another world isn't illegal, right? Any XP obtained off world is allowed, right? This Minmax and Forgath didn't ask. They're just hoping they won't be in too much trouble when they return with all that sweet XP and loot. Also, showing one's nose in public is extremely rude. This Minmax and Forgath are shocked to see everyone's "face junk" just hanging out like that. Ew, gross!
"Huh? Those other realities is so small is them? Why not normal size is us is? A normal medium sized like a human is, is 9ft-16ft tall. These humans is looking 6ft tall like a halfling is. Why are we is the only normal sized is us? This is making us mad is! WHAT?! Other Kins collar is a string? That is all IS?! Our Kin's collar has powerful bracers is! Not string is not! This is making us VERY mad is! AAH! Huh, what?! They is are using WEAPONS?! Weapons like swords and spears is they have?! Like cowards is they use weapons in?! This is making us VERY, VERY mad is! RAAH! IS MAD IS! Wait, huh, what now?! They don't is even getting mad like normal people is are?! Why not they get mad all the time is?! That makes us VERY, SUPER MAD IS! RWARAH! Wait, huhm what now, what, huh?! They is can't even understanding advanced quantum physics is?! But is pioneer science is! Even every child is knows particle/wave duality! Is quantum theory! Is whole reason why alternate realities is are existing in is first place! RAAAHHHH! IS EXCITING SCIENCE IS! CRUSH TINY, UNEDUCATED, NOT MAD THEMS IS! KILL! AAAHHH!"
Long ago, an adventurer named Lethar The Leather, whom none of you have ever heard of until now, was traversing through The Spinning Fear, a dungeon crawl that none of you have ever heard of until now. In most realities, Lethar went left at the demon skull that spits acid. In reality 3, he decided to go right, which brought him into the room that rains teeth, where he sadly died.
Why does this matter? Well Lethar unknowingly had a ring of wishes with him, which was found by the next group of adventurers to take on The Spinning Fear, hundreds of years later. The fighter of the group, Hellrick, took the ring and later used it to bring his wife back to life after she was decapitated by a sword swinging mega-zombie.
As we all know, these sorts of wishes always end badly, with the severity of the resulting misfortune depending on the actual wording of the wish. The wording of this particular wish altered the entire world in such a way as to make it impossible for anyone to die via decapitation. Fast forward another couple of hundred years to present time and we have a grim, but common practice called head-lining.
To head-line someone is to cut off their head (which as everyone knows, isn't fatal) and carry it around on a rope or line. The head is then forced to work for the individual carrying it, through threats, torture or promises of rewards.
In reality 3, Minmax has head-lined three goblins known as Complains of Names, Thaco and Climbs Tress. He uses the goblin heads as weapons and to help him with things like reading. Dellyn Goblinslayer, who has an interest in torture and experimentation, has grafted various monster heads onto Kin, turning her into a terrifying spectacle. We'll see her soon. It's totally gross.
Ace-Max travels alone. He is a respectful nod to Ace Rimmer http://tinyurl.com/5udhbma Ace-Max can be seen in the bottom right corner of panel 1 20110218 He will not be seen in the comic again.
[Minimax is a really creepy psion. He has The Idea to completely wipe himself from existence together with whole Maze of Many in the true Oblivion. --DBG]
[Multiclassed barbarians? Minimax is even more stupid... --DBG][Number confirmed by Tarol --DBG]
Minmax's character is based purely on Charisma and his Charisma is based purely on his "perfect" hair. In this reality Minmax almost killed Kin, not because she's a monster, but because her hair is "out of control & therefore she MUST be evil".
When Goblinslayer had Kin, he carved TOY into her forehead. Later, when Minmax made the necklace for Kin, he mistook the word on her forehead as her name, so the necklace said TOY. Kin became enraged and the two fought. Minmax, thinking Kin to be a crazy monster, cut off one of her arms before Forgath convinced him not to kill her. On Forgath's insistance, they adventure together, but are bitter enemies.
Minmax is an anti-paladin who hunts Big Ears (also an anti-pally) who weilds the Hammer Of Jale. A powerful weapon that holds a trapped angel who wants to break free & save the realm. The hammer must be used for evil to keep the angel trapped inside.
[NOT a mix-up of numbers with #107 (Minmax with "hair"), confirmed by Tarol --DBG]
When it came to archery, Kin 54 was truly gifted. It's because of this gift that she was chosen by the elders of her clan to lead the group that would quest for the Jade Teapot. At Kin's request, she was accompanied by her four best friends whom she'd grown up with in the clan.
After Kin and her friends were captured by Dellyn Goblinslayer, he placed the other four serpent folk in the dungeons of Brassmoon and kept Kin for himself. Using her more as a weapon than anything else, he ordered her to kill many of his enemies. With the cursed leash keeping her under his control, Dellyn had no second thoughts about keeping her armed with her bow and arrows.
Eventually, Thaco the Goblin released all of the monsters who were being held in the dungeons. In response, Dellyn ordered Kin to fire upon the fleeing prisoners. Forced by the magic of the leash, she did so with mathematical accuracy. Kin's four friends and clan-mates attempted to rescue her, but were instead killed by her own arrows. Dellyn listened with gleeful interest to Kin's anguished screams as she shot down her best friends.
That day destroyed Kin's ability to feel anything other than sorrow.
Eventually, Kin was rescued by Minmax the "sexy, mysterious" rogue and Forgath, cleric of Inks. Upon learning of Kin's pain, Forgath offered to magically mark her with the symbols for two words. 'Forget' and 'dead'. The tattoo would cause her to forget anyone who'd died. In her grief, she agreed.
Once the tattoo was permanently applied to her face and properly enchanted, Kin almost instantly forgot about every creature Dellyn had forced her to murder. She'd forgotten about her four friends. And a few moments after Minmax and Forgath were later killed by one of the many dangers in the Maze of Many, she forgot about them too.
So now, with the carefree abandon and child-like innocence induced by her artificially created lack of regret, Kin 54 has happily joined up with the other Kins, believing that despite her amazing archery skills, she has never personally killed anyone and indeed, has never known anyone who's ever died.
It's a blissful, dream-like state that if dispelled, would be far too much for Kin to handle.
[In the Kin group she is called Sapphire (along with Ruby and Onyx) --DBG]
[Armor seems to be styled with rivets more --DBG]
"Our" reality. Featured in... most of the comics.
[Colors have magical meaning. Some colors are buffs, some are curses. (unconfirmed)][reality number not confirmed. Tarol said, he might say more about them later --DBG]
[Okay, we actually know a lot about these guys: Their reality is fruitful on magic rings. Forgath looks like that because of the "Ring of Undeath" (black with shiny stone on left hand, also lowers Charisma). He also sacrificed a finger for the staff that allows him to simultaniously use as many rings as he wants instead of just two. His Dexterity and Charisma are 9 or less, Intellect 10 or more. His rings among others: ability "Hold Person", Ring of Epic Blinking (was on top of the staff). Kin is the only "scorpie"-taled Kin she has seen, her Strength is 9 or less, Intellect 10 or more. Minmax cannot talk because he traded that ability for a +6 to hit. One of his rings allows to create a "nail-to-wall collars" for enemies standing near walls. Intellect 10 or more. --DBG]
[Things of note: more open clothes (for all three of them) (it's hotter?); Forgath has no helment and a hammer instead of a mace; Minmax has the Luckblade (green clover sword from Goblinslayer's house, see 2006-10-13); Kin is sworded too and looking darn serious. --DBG]
[MinMax guessed NotWalter's name. No sign of Forgath or Kin. --DBG]
[Bunch of unknown zombified alternates --DBG]
Just like in "our" reality, this Kin was once the protector of the Sunset Fields. But this Kin took that title far more seriously and spent her days killing any humans, dwarves or elves that she found in her clan's territory. By the time she was captured by Dellyn Goblinslayer, she was a skilled warrior with a cold heart. After Minmax and Forgath joined up with Dellyn (having no problem with Kin's horrible situation), Kin used the change to her advantage and managed to escape by killing the two men and the dwarf.
Her plan to quietly escape Brassmoon failed, however, and a fierce battle erupted in which she killed dozens of Brassmoon guards. Badly wounded and wearing stolen armour from her fallen opponents, Kin hid in what she thought was an empty home. To Kin's surprise, she found herself in the small home with a human woman and her toddler son. Kin was about to kill the humans, but was shocked to find the woman bringing her water and bandages. The human even hid her in a back room as guards swept the area in search of her.
For four days, Kin stayed in the home in safety and was nursed back to health until she was snuck out of the city in the woman's wagon.
Although Kin still had no desire to ever work with a human, she swore she'd avoid killing them if she could. Not just as an act of gratitude toward the woman who saved her life, but also because of the realization that not all humans are evil.
After entering the Maze of Many alone, she met and befriended anothe lone Kin who had lost her party members to the dangers of the Maze. The two Kins began to discuss the possibility of altering the rules of the dungeon crawl in a manner that would allow them to form a group and possibly even acquire more members (Kins only, of course).
[Called 'Ruby' amongst the "Kin party" --DBG]
Kin 201 had always had an unusual grasp of the magic energies around her. As a youngling, she found that she could make the nearby air erupt in small bursts of green light. As she grew older, she learned that green was her 'individual magic effect'. It was her personal style of mentally burning up the invisible energy that pulsed through the air, unnoticed by most. Usually, to turn this energy, or "magic" into a useful result, or "spell" required intense training and various books or components. But for her, it could just... happen.
With the help of an orcish wizard from a neighbouring clan, Kin learned spells like magic missile, hypnotism and others. The wizard said her abilities were very rare and called her a "sorcerer".
For some reason, all reality 201 female humanoids had much lighter skin than males. Only males could be found to have tanned or darker coloured skin, while females were varying degrees of milky white.
When Kin was captured by Dellyn Goblinslayer and taken into the city of Brassmoon, she learned that the entire city worshipped a lesser deity they called "Lenny".
Once every 22 days, an individual would be sacrificed to Lenny, who would appear in the courtyard of Brassmoon in the form of an 280 ft, golden monkey. Once a person was chosen to be the next sacrifice, they were forced to wear the mask of Lenny which, when pressed to a person's face for even just a moment, would permanently mark the sacrifice's face with salmon coloured symbols above the eyes and on the cheeks. It was said that these markings were what directed Lenny to the sacrifice. For it is said in the Great Book of Lenny...
"Lenny is power. Lenny is might. But Lenny has trouble finding the sacrifice right. Also, Lenny is a monkey."
Eventually, Dellyn showed his willingness to sacrifice by offering his pet Kin to the Great Lenny. The mask was pressed against her face and she was shackled to a post in the center of the courtyard to await her fate. Dellyn made sure she would not try to escape, by using her cursed leash to magically order her not to try to break free of her shackles and to simply wait for Lenny to devour her. However, as another guard held her leash while she was being shackled, he commented "Hah! Just try to escape, monster", which according to the magic of the leash, was a direct order.
Once Kin was left alone, she used her sorcerer abilities to cast 'Grease' on her shackles and slip free. When Lenny arrived and found no sacrifice for him, he became enraged and began to destroy Brassmoon. For it is said in the Great Book of Lenny...
"Lenny is patient. Lenny is wise. You know... for a monkey. But mostly he's... well he's a monkey."
As all of Brassmoon was turned into a crater, Kin escaped and met up with Minmax and Forgath, who later died in the Maze of Many shortly before Kin 201 met up with and joined Kin 80.
Kin 201 has been becoming increasingly confused by the colour of the other Kin's skin. To her, they're coloured like males. She hasn't said anything, but this has coused Kin 201 to feel... things.
Especially towards Kin 80.
[In the Kin group she is called 'Onyx' (along with Ruby and Sapphire). Spider named Symun belonged to Forgath --DBG]
The owner and operator of the Brassmoon tavern known as 'The Frosted Claw' is a simple man named Lenard Lint. Lenard worships a fairly unknown, minor deity called Shooshee, Lord of Non-Sameness. Shooshee teaches that we all must evolve into better beings by always being "non-same" to our previous selves. Some worshippers of Shooshee believe that the deity chooses not to use the word "change", while others think that he is simply unaware of the word and therefore uses "non-sameness" throughout his declarations. This is what caused the war between the Shooshee fundamentalists and the Shooshee vocabulists that took place at the Sharn Lakes.
Like many Shooshee worshippers, Lint saved up his money and bought a holy potion of random transformation. Shoosheeists rarely drink their potion, they just like to hold it, pray with it and fantasize about drinking it one day. But when Lint found a certain passage in the Book of Non-Sameness, he took it literally...
"All must drink of the the non-sameness and rise up to be something newer. For sameness brings with it the monsters of suffering, the demons of decay and the monsters of suffering."
Despite the poor writing, Link took it to mean that because he hadn't drunk his overpriced potion, that was what brought a goblin into his beloved city. He saw it as his duty to kill the goblin, since he'd summoned it with his sameness. Thus, he went to Fumbles' execution and well... hit him with a stick. All of this is true for most realities, including 156 ("our" reality). But here's where reality 127 differs from most...
Lenard Lint, not wanting to summon even more monsters, decided that his potion had to be drunk. Being too afraid to drink it, he snuck it into the drinks of two strangers who entered his tavern. If it killed them, who would miss two strangers, right? Thus, Minmax and Forgath drank the potion. Forgath was turned into a small fish and quickly died, while Minmax became a blue... thing with heightened strength adn dexterity. Without Forgath to force them to work together, Minmax got the location of the Maze of Many from Kin, killed her and went on his own. You know... for the XP and Loot.
CATS! Reality 131 has more cats than any other animal. What's the most common type of leather? Cats! What's the most common food? Cats! The most common form of ammunition? Cats! Cats crowd every dungeon crawl, every town, and are abundant in every type of terrain. Water cats, fire cats, deadly cats, sexy cats, funny cats, giant cats, microscopic virus-like cats... Cats!
The Tentacle Reality. Really, that's the best way to describe it. Before mortals walked around like a bunch of cocky jerks who thought the world belonged to them, a tentacled god of pain and horrors failed at taking over as the most powerful god in town. But in reality 214, he succeeded. Now everyone has tentacles or tentacle like appendages. They've also transcended beyond pain in a way that allows for a new level of consciousness. This has had three main results. First, compassion and goodness has been completely eradicated. Second, demons walk around saying "See, we told you this place would be better filled with tortue and ruled by a hell-god! Now you can see beyond suffering and past agony into a deeper, more meaningful aspect of reality! You should have listened to us ages ago! Dumb asses.". And third, this reality can never invent ice cream. I'm not even kidding, it's mathematical certainty. You see, the Tentacle Reality has inadvertently proven that goodness is required to invent ice cream.
Minmax 214 isn't in the Maze of Many because he accidentally strangled himself with one of his tentacles during his first ever battle (the fight with the kobolds).
Oh, and reality 214 is totally NSFW. Yeah. Yeah, it goes 'there'.
Dellyn Goblinslayer woke up. Well he began the process of waking up. It was slower and more painfll than usual. While his consciousness was reluctantly willing to open itself up, his eyes had decided to stay closed. Fine, they would open soon enough. Dellyn groggily realised that his head hurt, followed quickly by the understanding that he was sitting up. Reflexively, he tried to raise his hand to his head but found that it wouldn't move from behind his back. Then, as he truly began to wake up, he noticed many things at once. He was tied to a chair. He was gagged with a cloth that tasted like blood. It was hard to tell just yet, but he may have been missing some teeth.
Dellyn snapped his eyes open to discover that he was in one of Brassmoon City's old warehouses. During times when war or natural disaster were an immediate threat, Brassmoon stored extra food and supplies in the old warehouses to placate the civilians. Now though, the warehouses were empty. Dust particles could be seen floating through the sun beams that extended through the cracks in the old, wooden walls. Half rotted, empty barrels were stacked in dark corners and left as homes for the rats and insects. This indeed, was an almost perfect place to bring someone that you planned to torture.
That was Dellyn's assumption. Torture. People, who needed to be killed, didn't wake up tied to a chair in a dank warehouse. At least, not the people Dellyn killed. But in the interest of torture, this area was almost perfect. Almost.
Then a figure stepped out from behind Dellyn's chair and stood before him. It was that oafish moron, Minmax. The one who came into the tavern with his dwarf friend three weeks ago and threw him out of a window. What was that dwarf's name, again? Minmax and the dwarf had burned Dellyn and left him for dead on the tavern floor. They even stole his serpent lady, Kin. With Dellyn's expertise in tracking, it was easy enough to find them again. But how had he ended up here? If not for the gag in his mouth, Dellyn would have posed the question to his captor. Damn, what was that dwarfs name, For-something?
"I should have killed you back at the tavern, Dellyn." Minmax seemed to show no emotion as he spoke. "After you caught up to us in the Swamp of Silence... After that battle, i stumbled upon a magic item. A crystal Ball."
Forbeard? Forgrell? Damn, this was really going to bug him now. What was that dumb dwarf's name?
"The crystal ball showed me all the torture you did to Kin." Minmax walked outside of Dellyns field of vision and returned with a large, square board about nine feet tall. The Kind Brassmoon used to pin announcements to. This one was covered in about three dozen charcoal drawings that looked as though they wen drawn by a small, right-handed child's left hand. Each drawing depicted an act of torture that Dellyn had performed on Kin at one time or another. One drawing showed Dellyn slicing Kin's nostril. Another showed the time he had pushed an iron nail into her torso. It was going really well, until he'd accidentally collapsed one of her lungs and she couldn't scream anymore. That had ruined his evening.
"I don't know how to write words, so i drew these." Minmax coldly motioned to the child-like drawings, before again walking somewhere unseen. This time he returned with a small table. On the table were knives of different sizes. Knives and one large, iron nail.
Oh, now Dellyn understood. Minmax had planned to recreate for him all of the torturous things he'd done to Kin. Dellyn felt stressful alarm begin to collect in his gut and throat. It took him a moment to realise that the muffled grunts and panicked, heavy breathing being filtered through his cloth gag were coming from him. Why didn't Minmax want to talk this out? This had gotten way out of hand!
"Even though you killed Kin in the Swamp of Silence, i'm not going to do that to you. If you can live through all of the torture you dished out, you get to live. But if the torture kills you, well..." Dellyn's eyes spew wide as Minmax picked up one of the knives. "Let's start with the picture in the top-left, okay?"
It was two hours later when Minmax had removed the last drawing from the board. The knives on the table were soaked in blood and Dellyn, who looked more like an exploded side of beef than a human, had lost the strength to scream ages ago. But he'd done it. He'd lived through Minmax's sick sense of justice and he was still alive. If Dellyn still had control over his sliced up, blood soaked face, he'd be smiling. Instead, he sat hunched in his chair and made a triumphant gurgling noise. What was that damn dwarf's name? It's funny how the mind latches onto the little things even in times of extreme stress and terror.
Minmax walked away without a word. The moron probably thought that Dellyn was dead or at least would die at any moment. He had no idea how tough Dellyn Goblinslayer actually was. Fortough? No. Forcry? Damn. Oh well, who gives a...
Dellyn's ability to scream returned as a new terror took him over. The screaming didn't stop.
In front of him stood Minmax, who had returned with a new announcement board, covered in new drawings. Drawings of...
"Forgath. I spent days looking for him after we got separated during our battle in the Swamp of Silence. Then i found him. Well, i found some of him. Let's start with the picture in the top-left, okay?"
Dellyn's screaming stopped sometime during the third picture. He died during the seventh. Minmax dpopped the knife onto the blood soaked dirt floor and picked up his broadsword from where he'd left it leaning against the wall.
Before she was murdered, Kin talked about how she was looking for a jade teapot that could teleport you to a person, no matter where they were. He wondered what would happen if you had the teapot take you to someone after they'd died.
He was going to find out.